Lorraine Bracco says embracing her gray hair at 70 has given her ‘a lot of hours’ back

At 70, Lorraine Bracco is happy to talk about embracing her gray hair and playing a grandma in Netflix’s hit movie Nonnas. She’ll also drop her unfiltered thoughts on the importance of “a good lover.”

Bracco is best known for playing psychiatrist-to-the-don Dr. Jennifer Melfi in TV’s The Sopranos, for which she received four Emmy nominations, and long-suffering mob wife Karen Hill in Goodfellas, which scored her an Oscar nod. Her role in Nonnas marks her first comedy outing, which took her out of her comfort zone. The film — starring Vince Vaughn as a restaurateur — also centers on a comfort-food-cooking quartet of Italian grandmas, putting her in esteemed company with Susan Sarandon, Talia Shire and Brenda Vaccaro.

“It was empowering,” Bracco tells me of being part of the powerhouse group of actresses who are all over 70. “I love and adore all these women. I’ve known Susan and Brenda for a long time. I had just met Talia, who I fell in love with. That was a great part of it.”

Bracco, mom to daughters Margaux Guerard and Stella Keitel, is a grandma in real life too; technically, she goes by “Flower,” not nana or nonna. Romantically unattached, the twice-divorced, born and bred New Yorker is in what she calls a “transient” stage in life. When she’s not working, she’s visiting her grandkids or her newly renovated 1 euro home in Sicily, documented on HGTV’s My Big Italian Adventure.

What Bracco’s not doing off the clock is spending hours in a salon chair. After dyeing her hair every three weeks to maintain her brunette locks for years, she’s gone gray. In an interview for Yahoo Life’s Unapologetically series, she tells me that it’s given her “a lot of hours” back. Here’s what else living her best life looks like.

This was your first time doing comedy. How did it feel to spread your wings?

I liked that I was vulnerable to Vince Vaughn and to [director] Stephen Chbosky. I came in very humble — like, I’m not sure what I’m doing here. I think you’ve made a mistake — and they believed in me.

It’s gotten better, but many actresses struggle to get meaty roles after 40. Your career has been different, landing The Sopranos at age 45. What has your experience been like?

I have been so incredibly lucky. I really have. When I think about it — and I look at myself in Goodfellas or in Sopranos and now Nonnas — I’m like, OK, you’re on a good track. And, yes, [I was in my 40s when I started Sopranos, which I remember] because I was always aggravated that Jimmy Gandolfini and Edie Falco were 10 years younger than me. It annoyed me [laughs].

I recently read a story about you that started with, “Lorraine Bracco knows what she wants when it comes to love.” I thought: I bet Lorraine Bracco knows what she wants — period. Do you feel clear about what you want, personally and professionally, at 70?

I’ll tell you: I know what I don’t want, so that’s a good place [to start]. I think that you have to know what you want to get it — no matter what it is. Whether it’s work or love or friendship or children, you have to know what you want to attain it.

Were you always a confident person?

Kinda. I always had a big personality, let’s put it that way [laughs]. My kindergarten teacher said to my mom, “Oh, don’t worry about her.” I have vulnerable moments. Like I said, working with Stephen and Vince in the beginning of Nonnas, I was scared. I often said to them, “I’m not sure you picked the right person here.” Stephen was always like: “Lorraine, there’s nobody else I wanted. I believe in you.” I said, “I wish I believed in myself as much as you believe in me.” It was nerve-racking for me. I was nervous, especially the first day with Vince. He’s a master [of comedy]. I would look at him with these big eyes, going, Oh my God, what am I doing?

You were a model early in your career, living in France for a decade. Did that help you with auditions and rejection when you crossed over to Hollywood?

Yes and no. Talk about two very different careers, but I was pretty lucky. I worked as a model, and I did a lot of commercials, which I think was very handy later on in making movies. Yes, I’ve had disappointments. There are roles that I really, really wanted that I didn’t get, or modeling jobs or covers that never happened. I think everybody who goes through life and has reached 70 has had plenty of disappointments, but when I look back, I say, “Look what I’ve achieved.” I’m happy with that.

In October, you turned 70. How do you handle birthdays? Do you like them? Not like them?

Not really [laughs]. I have grandchildren and they’re so much more fun to celebrate than me. We have puppy parties. When [my granddaughter] turned 6 years old, she wanted to have a dinosaur party. I looked at my daughter like, OK, Mom. [My daughter] told her dinosaurs were too big for her yard, so we had adoptable puppies instead. [My grandson] had a fabulous cowboy theme party when he turned 1 with all kinds of animals, horseback riding and pony rides. They have much more fun than me [with birthdays].

So you get to be a hands-on grandmother?

I do — I love it. I go and spend like three weeks in L.A. with my daughter Margaux and her children, and then I’ll go for a couple of weeks to Florida with Stella. I feel very transient at this age. I’m very lucky.

You’ve said that an important lesson you taught your daughters is that anything is possible. What are some ways that you demonstrated that for them?

Well, I told them to look at me. I mean, I come from Brooklyn. My father worked at the Fulton Fish Market. My mother was a homemaker. There was no reason for me to become an actress and work and make money and be successful and have two fantastic kids. I always feel like a lot of times we stop ourselves or we limit ourselves in our dreams. I always told them: Dream big.

I read that you made a deal with yourself at 50 to have “more fun, more fun, more fun.” Has that been easy to live up to?

Yeah, I’m loving it. Listen — I feel good. I wake up every morning. I’m grateful to wake up. I’m happy. I’m healthy. I think that’s a really big part of it. Being healthy is really my No. 1 goal to attain every day. I try to walk every day. I try to get those steps in. It’s not always easy. I try to sleep. I try to eat [healthy]. I take care of myself.

How important is it for you to have a romantic relationship at this point in your life?

Well, I always like a good lover [laughs]. I’m not one to ignore that. I feel good about myself, and if someone walks into my life and is accepting and loving, I’m OK with that.

You’ve gone gray and it’s gorgeous. I’d stop coloring my hair if I knew it would look like yours.

Honestly, I stopped coloring it during COVID, and I had no idea what it was going to look like. So coming out of COVID — and the half dark, half gray, half whatever it was — I think I was pretty lucky. People stop me in the street and ask me who colors it, and I say, “The guy upstairs.”

Was it a hard decision to make with work?

So far, no. I always tell my agent to remind these people I have gray hair. I am no longer a brunette and people have been very accepting to it. And it worked for Nonnas. I feel like I have a lot of hours [back]. There’s two things I did since COVID that really made a difference for me: One, I don’t have to go to the salon every three weeks. Two, I have an electric car, so I don’t have to go to the gas station.

We saw you renovate your Sicily house on HGTV. How often do you get there?

I try to go at least two to three times a year. This year, I’ve not been and usually I like to do a May-June visit. I’ve been so busy that I don’t know if I’m going to make it. But definitely September, October, November. November is olive-picking season and I love that.

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